this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
