can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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