i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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