The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
