i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
