theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
