Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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