Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
