he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
