I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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