My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
