just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
