Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
