my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
