Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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