whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize