i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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