You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
