so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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