my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
