i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
