LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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