god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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