ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
