you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
