Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
