just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
