well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I need to align my fucking chakras
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
