Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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