Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
