I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You're so nebulous sometimes
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
