last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
