I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
