Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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