We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
