We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
i've created a new STD.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
