so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
