On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
