i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
