lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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