Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
