So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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