Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
