I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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