I'll bet she douches with gravy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
