I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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