I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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