We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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