I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
