I wish I could teleport
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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