Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
