I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
