big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize