dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
