I wannas sexs uuuuu
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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