I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
