I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
