is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
