Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
