Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize