The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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