he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
